Jun 11, 2006

Catemaco food shortage

Mexican nutrionists and Los Tuxtlas health authorities are now on high alert to combat the nutritional deficiencies which the absence of pickles in Los Tuxtlas and beautiful downtown Catemaco have created.

Neither the neoliberal capitalistic abusers of culinary delights, Walmart or Soriana, now stock pickles on their shelves. The occasional orphan jars of sliced green things in other small tiendas have also disappeared. Desperate pickle eaters are now crowding the Tuxtlas highways in search of pickles.

A recently interviewed pickle user at Sam´s Club in Veracruz stated "I bought everything they had, sliced, cubed, dilled and freeze dried. To hell with those survivalists in Catemaco".

The Veracruz governor and the local municipal authorities have been advised, and according to informed sources, air drops of pickles will be accompanying the usual dump of sheet metal on deserving communities in Los Tuxtlas.

Anyone experiencing withdrawal symptoms should present him/herself at one of the local out clinics, easily identified by their color schemes of primarily yellow and spouting the words salto, brincon or poder on their exterior walls.

A local Popoluca indian recommended use of chayotes marinated in vinager as a temporary transfusion for those dependent on pickle juice. Local health authorities refused to comment and reiterated their recommendation of saline solution for extreme cases.